Oh blog world it has been far too long! Life has been crazy, but in the best way possible. I am starting my own ETSY business and that has been taking up a lot of my spare time. I am so excited because it's something I have wanted to do forever and ever. It's given me an amazing excuse to have some hilarious and memorable hangout times with my friends while having them model the goods.

Cait modeling a scarf for the original shop banner

The last few months have been so good to me and I am constantly grateful for the amazing things that continue to happen. Lets briefly catch you up...

-My best friend Christy got married! There was an amazing celebration and ceremony at her parent's farm as well as a gorgeous Hindu ceremony in new york.

-I found a way to balance being happy with my "day job" and my artistic job!

- I went on a date that involved a personal banjo serenade (the only way to date really)

-I've created some of my best work artistically and I am finally going to get to share it with the world.

I hope life is treating the rest of you equally well!
Lovelovelove

September Wedding.

So last summer sometime, my college roommate Cait and I jokingly decided that we should just get married and out of this decision came the idea for the September wedding. Basically what this meant was that for the last year we referenced it as an inside joke that slowly everyone in our little Villanova group started to pick their roles and express their excitement for said September wedding. Well this past weekend we took the fake plunge and had ourselves a fake wedding.

It was really just a reason for some us all to get together and be silly. Everyone picked a wedding role to fill and we had a silly 10 minute ceremony full of sexual innuendos and best friend jokes.

(Our 'flower girl' in the midst of throwing her bag of rose petals everywhere)

Cait and I had an excuse to wear amazing dresses that really aren't acceptable in public. Mine was an old "punk rock prom dress" that I bought in high school and hers was this amazing 70's bridesmaids dress that we bought at a vintage shop.

(Yay Married!)

Cait ended up baring a striking resemblance to Jenny from Forrest Gump and I'm not entirely sure how I would classify my look... maybe high school Bridget. Our friend Kristen was our master of ceremonies (hence the super badass superman t-shirt) and came up with the most hilarious ways to tie Cait and I together for life. Her references to the princess bride and glorious pop songs spanning several decades were truly the work of a comedy genius. After our little ceremony we all we back inside and sat around talking, drinking and playing silly games.

(This is what happens when you give Joe and I booze and a camera)

It was a marvelous time and was exactly what I needed in my life!
Lovelovelove!

The week in review.

It's been a bit of a weird week full of bittersweet moments. The first downer was that as of last Wednesday my plans to go back to college have been put on hold until next semester because of loan and other money issues. As much as this sucks, to be honest it was a bit of a relief at the same time. It's my own fault because I put off meetings with advisers and registering for classes which made for a very hectic and rushed process that really didn't leave any room for any random snafus. So as unpleasant as it was to have to put off the ultimate goal (college degree and hopefully an eventual masters in womens studies) for another 3 months, at least I have learned to go into next semester with everything already figured out.
On the upside I got to spend a decent chunk of time on Saturday with my best friend from high school, Melissa*. Our hang out times usually consist of bad tv, some sort of crafts, and trying to decipher the mysteries of the universe. No matter what we do or talk about I always feel calmer somehow after we have been able to chat and laugh and just be silly together.
One more down side to this week was that after like 10 months or so the boy and I decided that it was time to stop seeing each other. This was also bittersweet on so many levels because as much as we both know we just don't work together in a way that could go the distance, so to speak, it sucks to end something with someone you care about. After sitting and talking it all out with him for a while I went home and spent many therapeutic hours with my sewing machine and mp3 player. It is weird how soothing it is to me to sit at that desk with Bessie** and make something beautiful while belting out whatever old song comes through the shuffle of my mp3 player... it's home to me.


*She is very selfishly leaving me in a month or so to take a job in Hawaii for at least a year. As much as I hate her for leaving me here alone down-in-g-town, I know why she has to go and hopefully I can save up enough money to visit her while shes there.
** Bessie is my sewing machine. She was named one day while costuming a show in college and in a rather cracked out and sleep deprived moment and friend of mine and I decided she looked like a cow. Hence the name Bessie.

Where do we go from here?

I've reached a point where I have absolutely no clue what to do with this blog. To be honest, I'm not sure I ever really had a clue. I think I just wanted it to be a sounding board for my life, but my everyday existence isn't really that interesting. I also dabbled with the idea of writing about being a young cancer patient in the hopes of helping some other young person to feel connected to something or someone like them. But that idea really only works when I'm not avoiding my cancer patient status (yes I am aware that is bad news bears). So where do I go from here? I don't want to just walk away from this baby, but I need some sort of a game plan on how to utilize it in a way that will keep both myself and my whopping 9 followers interested (thanks for reading guys!). I'll have to think this one over and let you guys know what I come up with... suggestions are of course welcome :)

Remember

There is more to you than cancer!

Back to the grind

Typically my life requires an mri and a visit to the oncologist every 3 months for a check-up on the little gremlins that live in my leg. However, I have been a bit of a renegade patient lately and after deciding to stop my own treatment about 7 months ago the time finally came for me to go back. I was avoiding the medical side of my life and I realize how foolish that was, but it was something that I honestly needed to do for myself. So why decide to give up on me anti-medical way of life? A little over a month ago I was out on an adventure with my friend Christy and we were trying on shorts (our first of the season), and there it was, the ugly tumor we named Keanu, bigger than ever. So needless to say I freaked out and gave in because I knew it was time.

So Friday was the big day and my doctor told me what I already knew. Luckily the tumor in my calf (named peach) is stable and has been for quite some time and Keanu is only a little larger, but still growing enough to require treatment. (the 2 other super small tumors in my thigh haven't grown since they randomly decided to show up but since they are so little and cause no trouble they have yet to be named) So it's back to the cancer grind for me and to be honest I am anything but happy about it, but this past weekend has given me some great blessings to show me just how I will get through this next bout of chemo.
Yesterday I had some quality time with my college roommate and we talked out everything about life (like we always do). She always knows how to somehow simultaneously make me feel that its alright to freak out but know that I can conquer the world. I'm not sure if that last statement made sense but I really can't think of a better way to explain it.
Also, On Saturday I had some quality time with my boyfriend. We reviewed all the doc and I had talked about and it was nice to not have to dwell on it. He just let me tell him at my own pace and then proceeded to distract me with an exciting and yet obscenely relaxing adventure that consisted of lots of driving, picking wild flowers, and sitting on a park bench near a lake with a breeze and sun.
The conclusion of these two little anecdotes is that even though I might personally not be ready for this next part of the fight, my support system is as prepared as ever; and that is what will keep me going when I feel sick or tired or angry. I'm so lucky to have such a fantastic group of loved ones to keep me going and it is with that knowledge that I can look Keanu in the face (if tumors have a face) and say "Bring it on Bitch!"

Theater Junkie

Once a theater kid, you are always and forever a theater kid. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't do the following things at least once...
1) Sing along to the original cast recording of anything.
2) See an article of clothing on the street and think "oh god that would work so well as a costume for this random character"
3) Hear a song on the radio and say "if this were a show the costumes would be a mix of rocky horror meets leave it to beaver" (oh yea I've actually said that in the last 9 days)
4) Do some form of interpretive dance in an inappropriate place and setting.
and dear god there are so many more.
Now I know my theatrical tendencies lean more towards costumes than being on stage, but it is through my joy of performing for an audience that I found my adoration for helping others find their joy on stage. I love being able to hear the background of a characters life and deciding, based on age, time period, personality, and life experiences what that person would choose to wear. It's a way of getting inside someones head that is completely unparalleled in my mind. In the last few weeks and I have been finding myself giving in to more and more of these theater habits. So in honor of this recent flare up of theatrical love, I am spending the rest of the day singing along to everything and being as crafty as humanly possible.