Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Makeshift Public Speaker

Last week I was given the wonderful opportunity to speak to freshman at Villanova University about what it’s like to have a chronic illness. They were learning about family history and the importance of knowing your risks and although my story doesn’t necessarily bring those points home (because nothing I have is genetic), I think I was able to help regardless. I knew going into these talks that my story was more about the luck of the draw when it comes to struggling with disease, but this motivated me to find different ways to show them why it is so important take care of their own health.

One of the big points I tried to get across was that no ones knows your body better than you do. This was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn when so many different people were telling me they had no idea what was wrong with my leg. At one point when I was almost 15 I even said to my doctor at the time “is what I have a tumor” and his response was “there is absolutely no way what you have is a tumor.” Well sure enough a few months later I was diagnosed with a desmoid tumor, but I digress. This was not meant to be about the a-hole doctor that I had at that time, but about how if there is something wrong with the way your body is working you should never let anyone make you think you are crazy. If you’re in pain or something is off, you need to peruse the issue until you find an answer that explains your problems or satisfies your soul. I tried to explain to them the idea of being your own advocate and trying to help them understand that it is okay to disagree with your doctor. I explained to them briefly about struggling with the previously mentioned awful doctor and how if you are not satisfied with whom you are seeing, then find someone else. A great support team of both loved ones and doctors is more important than anything else when facing an illness no matter how big or small. If your doctor makes you uncomfortable or doesn’t listen to you then how can they ever help you?

I really hope that I was able to communicate these messages to them and that they were able to see them through the rest of the story. They were very thankful for me coming and sharing my story with them and a few people even told me I was courageous and to be honest that blew me away. I have never seen myself as being courageous, I've always just been trying to live my life the best way that I can. One gentleman asked how I was able to get as far through college as I did with everything that had happened and I was so taken back by the question that I almost couldn't pull it together in enough time to answer. Luckily I did and told him that for me it was just the next step in my life. I told them that if I looked at cancer as being my whole life, that I would not have room for anything else fun or positive and its the normal things in life that keep me pushing trough all the other crap.

It was so refreshing to be able to be so completely honest with strangers and it was a bit therapeutic to go back and remember the roots of my illnesses. All in all I am so glad that I did it and I really hope that each one of them took something positive, no matter how small, from my story.

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