A friend of mine from Villanova started a group on facebook to help those who face the struggles of illnesses that are not always perfectly visible to the public. We met our freshman year and bonded over the struggles that one faces with being handicapped and not looking like it on a college campus. Anyway I have been a member of this group from the beginning but had been slacking on keeping up with it for quite some time until yesterday. I had been internally struggling lately with my disease and the affects it has had on my life and physical appearance. Now I am not one to be vein and care an obscene amount about my appearance but loosing my hair was really getting to me for several reasons. I have been ridiculously lucky in the past to not loose my hair from any of my chemo treatments. I had a slight thinning of my hair before but I was fortunate to keep that part of my lifestyle intact. Recently I had noticed more and more of my hair coming out in the shower and could see my hair thinning along my hair line. I new I had to cut my hair but it was one more bit of control that I didn't want to loose. One of the things I have learned about myself over the last few years is that cancer has given me serious control issues. I hate relinquishing my control in most situations (this being one of the main reasons I now need to be sedated for my long MRI's) and I hate letting cancer get the better of one more part of my life. However, like with everything else I eventually remember that this is forever a part of me and I try to turn it into a positive in order to survive. In this situation I have decided to look at this as an excuse for a sassy summer hair cut and to enjoy every second of the new attitude that always accompanies short hair.With this new attitude I decided to finally make my first mark on the Understanding Invisible Illness discussion board in the hopes that some someone else can see it and be inspired in the same way many of these people have inspired me.
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