I am your typical person now a days, going to work, playing with friends, just basically living life and usually I am generally satisfied with that. However, the satisfaction never lasts and out of no where come these waves of uncomfortableness. It's almost like a rash where you start feel a little itchy and sometimes you can suppress it with medicine and other times you can't find the cure quickly enough and you are stuck with red itchy blotches covering your life. Today is a rash day. I was coasting along fine and then out of nowhere it punched me right in the face and all i want to do is run away. I am terrified that I have lost my creativity. I don't want to be your basic craft mom who grows up, works too hard, has kids, and only uses her creative instincts for science fair projects and the occasional needle point bullshit. I need more than that and I need it NOW! I feel like a crazed junkie willing to do anything for a fix but there is no solution in sight. I'm not entirely sure how how or where to go from here. I'm sure it will resolve itself like it always does; I'll spend to much money on paint or fabric or canvas and I'll try to create something to make myself feel real again. It will hold me over for a while and in a few weeks I'll be right back here again. I just need to face the facts...
-I am in no way cut out to work in an office
-It is very unlikely that I will ever make art beautiful or provocative enough to move people in the way that is required in order to make a living on calling myself an 'artist'
I am realizing that at this point this is just me ranting and it's time to stop, suck it up and go to the craft store... such is life.
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