For some reason recently I have felt like the universe is pushing my grandmother and I together in the weirdest ways. I always had a great relationship with my dad's mother but when it came to my mom's mother I had fewer memories and sadly less to hold on to once she was gone. But recently I have been reminded of her in so many silly little things. It started a few months ago when my mother and I were hanging around looking at old pictures and she brought out some of her mother's old scrap books. I knew that mom mom (as she was affectionately known to us grand kids) had an affinity for making scrap books because for years after she died we had most of them in our house and believe me when I tell you that there were close to 100. They were a great way to feel close to her but with there being so many it was an easy task to miss out on the most important ones. Anyway, my mother randomly pulled one of them out of the closet and it just so happened to be the first one in her series... the one she started when she was just about 16. It was one of the coolest things I had ever seen, not just as her grand daughter but the nerdy woman's history geek inside of me was jumping for a joy a little as well. There was everything from pictures from plays she was in while in high school, to real dance cards from the late 40's, and even the ring on the cigar that was given to my grand father when he bought her engagement ring.
It was like a portal into not only her life at that age, but parts of her personality that I had never known before. Like the picture of her in a 2 piece bathing suit in 1947 when that was pretty taboo. I realized maybe for the first time that she was so much more than the butt of my uncles jokes, or the woman who had 10 kids, or even the slightly cold German woman who was still there to give advice when it was needed most. It took these memories, both mine alone and other shared with me, to bring her to life as a real person instead of the ghost of a woman who died in my house when I was 10.
With these new thoughts and feelings I started a new day and decided to spend part of that day running some errands. On my journeys that particular Saturday I ended up finding a fantastic pair of cigarette pants, styled like the 40's/50's skinny jeans intended to show off those lovely mary janes. Like usual I was skeptical of them, because thanks to my mothers jeans (biological, not denim) I struggle with pants due to the big butt that she so graciously handed down to me :) But I was drawn to these pants because the style was called the "Audrey". It was clearly a sign that I was meant to have these pants and my sassy grandmother was calling for me to try them on. I know its all outlandish but they ended up fitting beautifully which is a miracle in and of itself. So I took the hint from mom mom and bought the pants.
And then again a few days ago I was out with my mother, again running some errands and we came upon a fantastic black and gray plaid jacket with big buttons. For those of you who know me, you know about my affinity for both plaid and especially big buttons. It was like a match made in heaven, and as I un-buttoned the jacket to try it on I saw a huge tag hanging inside that read "Forever Audrey". It was like another wonderful cosmic slap in the face, a way for me to remember that this woman who I lost so long ago is still around somewhere sending me these wonderful gifts.
I know this has been an extraordinarily sentimental and cheesy post, but hey when the universe calls out to you like that you just have to answer in any way you know how. I love you mom mom... thanks for everything!
Lovelovelove!
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